I don’t think I am Absent, I think maybe they just don’t know how to look. Since its inception as Dementia Praecox, Schizophrenia has been conceptualized as a condition of Loss, of Emptiness, of Breaking Down. Why we use too few words, why there seem to be no emotion behind them, why we don’t react with “appropriate” emotion to events-a Disorder of Absence, of Deficit. Reams of writing spanning 3 centuries throw words like these around pondering the reasons why people like me cannot seem communicate the way the doctors observing us want us to communicate. They call my expressions “Flat”, my way of being is characterized as a disorder of “Deficit” or “Absence”. They say I don’t show emotion Properly, as if there is such as thing as showing an emotion Properly.
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